yan shmatnik - my why

My Why: The Reason Why I’m Doing What I’m Doing

Like all of us, I have my problems and limitations. You & Yan is the creative expression of working within these constraints. I live with a few diseases, the one that I’m comfortable sharing publicly is Bipolar Disorder [now, as of 9/8/2019 is diagnosed as Schizoaffective]. I try my best not to pass blame, not to curse my position in life, and not to judge others. I am human and I do fail to do so at times. However, I remind myself as many times needed daily about how grateful I should be. There’s always going to be someone better off than you and worst off than you. Sure, I desire more than I have at times – however, the difference is how to go about attaining those things and remembering that they are just things in the first place. The one part of me I consistently monitor is my spirituality, these days at least. As long as my spirit is filled, everything else is just icing on the cake. Attain things through gratitude and kindness is my belief. Treating others as I wish to be treated is something I practice to the best of my ability in each moment. Alas, I err as I am human – however, I tend to err less frequently as the days go on.

I struggled to create a way to make a living. I’ve freelanced, had part-time jobs, and had my own businesses. They never provided me a sustainable income because of myself and my conditions. Today, I am a different person. People can change, I am living proof of this. You & Yan is now a platform for me to express myself and to release products that challenge conventions, norms. I never felt like I fit in, anywhere. I still feel that way to a degree today, the only difference – I realized I do not need to feel like I fit in. I’m comfortable with myself, I’m becoming more comfortable each day. I do this by challenging myself, by putting myself in uncomfortable situations to discover my true self. As I rise out of each uncomfortable situation, I learn something new about myself, or mature, or gain something new that helps me conquer the next situation. I can only now begin to express who I truly am, and that expression would only be the foundation of who I will become.

I write all this to say that because I feel that I naturally defy convention by being me that so should my work in life. With that being said, I welcome you to You & Yan. Let us always ask why.

Game X Hustle

#ENDstigma #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawarness #stigma #stigmafighters
Originally written: March 26, 2017.

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